Oceanside Marine (Kendall Family Book 4) Page 15

  “I think he needs a time-out,” he grumbles. “He’ll be alright. I’ll text him and let him know I’ll call him a ride home whenever he decides he’s ready. Let’s go inside before you freeze to death.”

  My heart drops with the idea of facing Braden again. Although I meant to tell him it was over, every last part of me still wants to spend the night with him. Maybe I should still take Charlie’s car back to my apartment. As much as it would kill me to miss the rest of Shar’s reception, I need to keep a clear head and remember what’s most important in all of this.

  Connor points at something behind me. “Looks like Braden’s leaving, Mom.”

  I spin around, my stomach lurching when my eyes meet Braden’s. He’s standing at the curb beside a black sedan, hand draped over an open door to the backseat as Angelina crawls inside. Though his lips quirk with a smile, it’s sad in comparison to his usual cocky grin. I nearly burst out crying, knowing I’ve made him sad and knowing I won’t get the chance to see him strip out of that beautiful suit.

  “You should go talk to him,” Charlie tells me. “We’ll wait for you inside.”

  I feel my head bob in agreement as I start down the sidewalk with a trance-like gait toward the only man to ever truly make me happy. As I close in, he braces himself against the top of the car. I have all I can do not to throw myself into his arms to erase the unease in his expression.

  “Don’t say anything we’ll both regret later,” he pleads before I’m able to get a word in otherwise. “I didn’t mean to put you in this situation, but it happened, and I’m really fucking sorry. I know you and Shar are close, so I’m not going to stick around and make things uncomfortable for you. Angie’s ready to leave anyway. I offered to take her back to Sofia’s.”

  “You should come back,” I choke out through tears. “Your family wants you here.”

  “They’ll see me tomorrow,” he decides, lifting one shoulder. “Dancing really isn’t my thing anyway.” Then he reaches out to brush his thumb over my cheek. “Please give it a day or two before you make your final decision. I’m in this for the long haul, beautiful. If you need time to make things right with Allen, I get it. I can either go back to Cali or stick around so you don’t have to go through this alone. It’s your call. Just don’t make any rash choices tonight. What we have deserves more consideration.”

  Tears fill my eyes when he bends down to take my arm as he drops a kiss on my head.

  Then his lips brush over my ear with a whispered, “I love you, Katie. Always.”

  As he climbs back into the car, I wrap my arms around myself and watch until the sedan turns off onto a different street. It may not have been the end, but the sudden coolness between us felt so wrong that I burst into tears.

  By the time the band plays their last song of the night, I’m pretty damn drunk. An hour or so after he left, Allen finally answered one of Charlie’s texts by saying he was crashing at an old high school buddy’s apartment in the city. I would’ve rather heard he was coming back to the reception or heading to my place, but at least I know he’s relatively safe.

  “Everything will work itself out, love,” Sharlo tells me as we’re hugging goodbye. “The Kendall men have big hearts—Braden’ll understand if you simply need more time.”

  “I want what you and James have. Is that too much to ask?”

  “No. And you’ll have it one day. You’ll see.”

  Evelyn steals me away from her new sister-in-law, looping her arm through mine. “You’re spending the night at our place. Won’t be able to have our little sleepovers as often once the baby arrives.”

  I don’t argue because like I said, I’m drunk. And I’m tired. Exhausted, really. It was an emotionally charged day with the highest of highs and rock-bottom lows. I fall asleep in the town car on the ride back to Brooklyn Heights, waking to the sound of Evelyn calling my name.

  Once my head hits the pillow, memories from the past few weeks rush at me with blinding clarity. There’s no denying the fact that I’m in love with Braden, and he made it clear he’s in love with me. But how long could it really last before he realizes he made a mistake, before he becomes bored and finds someone else? And what if I decided to have his baby, only to have him leave me a few years down the road? It seems half the kids in Connor and Allen’s grades came from divorced families, and I know for damn sure I don’t have the energy to raise another child on my own.

  I have no idea how much time has passed by the time I’m fumbling through the contacts on my phone. Almost a full year has passed since I had a reason to contact the deadbeat bastard, so hopefully he hasn’t changed his number.

  The call rings three times before his grumpy voice growls out, “Who is this?”

  “Why did you leave me, Jason? Why’d you hate the idea of having a family so much?”

  “Katie? Jesus Christ! It’s after midnight! Are you drunk?”

  “Yes, I’m drunk. Your boys resent you, you know. They act like they’re happy and well-adjusted for the most part, but deep down I know they don’t understand why their father wanted nothing to do with them. How could they? I know we were young but dammit, Jason, we would’ve figured something out! You didn’t have to completely cut yourself out of their lives! You would be so proud if you just took the time to get to know them! They have their flaws, some of them pretty damn big, but they’re good, respectful boys, and handsome like their uncle!”

  “Can we maybe do this some other time? Like when I’m totally awake and able to process why you’re yelling at me?”

  “You want to know why I’m yelling at you? Are you kidding me? I spent the last twenty years on my own raising our children! If it weren’t for my family I probably would’ve been living on the streets and had to have put the boys up for adoption! Adoption, Jason! Do you have any idea what that would’ve done to me? Since they came into this world they’ve been my entire life! They’re all I’ve had no thanks to you!”

  “Are you done?” he grumbles impatiently. “Because if you are, I’d like a chance to try to explain myself.”

  “Go right ahead. Can’t wait to hear this.”

  “We were young as shit, Katie. I have no problem admitting now that I was a selfish, immature bastard back then. The idea of starting a family at fifteen scared the hell outta me. I knew I wouldn’t be a good dad, but I decided I had to give it a try after we had Connor because I wanted to do the right thing. But then we found out you were pregnant with Allen and I lost it, I guess. By the time I realized I had made a mistake, I was married to Gretchen and she didn’t want to get involved with the boys. Addison was a year old—Gretchen didn’t want our daughter to be confused. I know that’s a pathetic excuse, but I had already screwed up and lost one family. I couldn’t lose another. Then eight years later when she asked for a divorce, I realized it was too late to introduce myself as the boys’ father. I figured you would’ve moved on by then. I was a completely different person when we were together. Now I’m embarrassed that I wasn’t man enough to step up when I had the fucking chance.”

  I sigh heavily into the phone, surprised by his candor. “At least you had the choice to walk away.”

  “And I thank God every day you didn’t. I know you think I’ve completely cut all ties with the boys, but I’ve been following them for years on social media under a bogus account. I didn’t want to disrupt their lives, but I wanted to make sure they were doing well. From what I’ve seen, you’ve done one helluva good job, Katie. You should be proud of yourself. It probably doesn’t mean much to you at this point if I told you I’m sorry, but if I had the chance to go back and do things differently, I would at the very least try to be there for them. For all three of you. If you want, I can send money—”

  “I don’t need your money, Jason. My parents and my brother have provided the boys with everything I couldn’t give them.”

  “Do you think…I mean…have they ever said they wanted to meet me?”

  “When they were younger, maybe. I’m not g
oing to push them into doing anything, but they should probably know they have a sister.”

  “And two brothers,” he adds.

  “What the hell, Jason? Were you hoping to start a basketball team? Is there any poor woman in New York that you haven’t stuck your dick in without a condom?”

  “I deserve that,” he says with a quiet chuckle. “I’m sorry it came to this. I should’ve called you years ago. If Connor and Allen decide they want to meet their siblings, I can arrange something. Addy knows, but the twins are only four. I’m not sure their mom would agree to telling them at this point, but I could have a talk with her.”

  “Are you with the twins’ mother?”

  “We’re together, but she’s considerably younger, and I don’t think that generation puts a whole lot of emphasis on marriage.”

  “I found someone younger too—I’m just not so sure it can work out,” I confess before letting out a long sigh. “Maybe you an’ me are both trying to get our younger days back since we screwed them up so badly.”

  “Can you see yourself being happy with this guy for the rest of your life?”

  With memories of our week in California, I smile to myself. “Yeah, I can.”

  “Then age doesn’t matter. It took me a handful of serious relationships and nearly two decades to find someone I can’t live without. Don’t let someone like that go, Katie. You’ll always regret it.”

  “Doesn’t sound like I should be taking advice from you, Jason. Just how many women were there after me?”

  “Too damn many.” His deep chuckle rumbles against my ear. “You’re probably right. Go to bed, Katie. I’ll have a talk with Izzy and get back to you in a few days. Even if Connor and Allen don’t want anything to do with me, I’ll help them meet up with their siblings. They’re good kids with good moms too. I may be a total fuck up in other ways, but at least I chose good women across the board to take care of my kids.”

  “Do the world a favor and get a vasectomy,” I grumble before ending the call.

  I toss my phone aside, amazed I had the presence-of-mind to carry on a somewhat civilized conversation with Jason after all these years and a butt-ton of drinks. I’ve always known vodka made me do bad things, but this probably tops the list of worst ideas ever. With any luck, I won’t remember the conversation with Jason by morning.

  But then I remember that in a roundabout way I agreed to have the boys meet their half-sister and brothers. Even if it could potentially be a good idea, it’s probably the last thing Allen needs after what went down tonight. I’ve got my hands full the way it is.

  I need to make a final decision about Braden—one that will allow me to sleep soundly once it’s been made.

  Chapter 16

  BRADEN

  I help Angelina settle inside our sister’s mansion, making her take a seat in the kitchen while I pour her a glass of water. She doesn’t look much better than she had after the service when she admitted to not feeling well. Is she drunk? I’ve seen her several times over the weekend with a glass in hand, but I don’t remember her ordering anything, so it could’ve been water. How sad is it that I can’t even say for sure whether or not my own sister drinks?

  “What’s going on with you?” I ask when handing her the glass. “Are you sick?”

  “I’m probably not eating enough protein,” she mutters before taking a small sip. Looking away, she sets the glass down on the island. “My agent has me on a strict diet that I haven’t exactly been sticking to while here.”

  “Jesus, Ang. You look skinny enough already. I’m no expert on modeling, but maybe you should see a doctor. I’d think you could stand to gain a few pounds.”

  She throws me a sharp look. “You’re right. You don’t know a thing about modeling.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I’m just worried your agent isn’t looking out for your well-being.” I plop down onto the stool next to her and sigh. “What does your boyfriend say about your weight?”

  “I don’t have time for a boyfriend,” she snaps. “Between working out and keeping up with Go-Sees, I spend my free time resting so I don’t look like a damn zombie.”

  I rub a hand over my jaw. What kind of life is that? “Hope the money you’re making is worth all this bullshit.”

  Staring down at the glass, she traces the rim with her pointer finger. “It’s hard to find work when I’m competing with younger models. I auditioned for a part in a new TV series they’re getting ready to film in Miami. If that doesn’t happen, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

  “Didn’t know you were interested in acting.”

  “I didn’t either until my agent suggested I take acting classes they were offering at the University last summer. Turns out I’m a natural. At least that’s what the professor said.”

  “They’d have to have their heads up their asses not to hire you. What’s the show about?”

  “Incredibly horny supernatural creatures, like witches and vampires.” With a quiet giggle, she grins back at me. “If I’m hired, at least Mom and Dad aren’t around to watch their oldest bring shame to the family.”

  With a firm shake of my head, I squeeze her arm. “They’d never be ashamed of you.”

  Her smile flattens. “You don’t know me well enough to say that.”

  I shift around on the stool when the truth behind her words stings. But we’re still blood, and our parents raised us to take care of each other. Maybe it’s time I stop worrying about myself and start keeping track of my siblings.

  “Everyone does shit at some point that they’re not proud of,” I say. “Doesn’t mean Mom and Dad would’ve held it against you.” When she doesn’t answer, I add, “If the vampire porn doesn’t work out, you can always come out and see me in Cali. I have a spare room, and LA’s not that far of a drive.”

  For a moment her expression falls like she’s going to cry. Then she slips off the stool, turning her back on me as she leaves the room. “Go back to the reception, Braden. I don’t need my baby brother watching over me.”

  But she’s wrong. I think that’s exactly what she needs. What the hell is going on in her life that makes her seem so sad?

  In the middle of the night, my cell phone chirps from somewhere on the floor. I nearly break my fucking neck jumping from Sofia’s couch to find it. Maybe Katie made up her mind and wants me to come to her.

  But when Connor’s name flashes across the screen instead of his mom’s, the flicker of hope I felt with the ring of my phone becomes a bone-chilling fear. There’s only one reason he’d be calling at this hour. Something’s wrong.

  “Connor? What’s wrong? Did something happen to your mom?”

  “She’s okay, as far as I know. She spent the night at Ev and Charlie’s. I’m calling about Allen.”

  Rubbing my forehead, I glance at the screen to see it’s 3:24. “Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?”

  “He was arrested for drunkenly disorder and assault.”

  Fuck. I drop my head into one of my hands as I try to imagine Katie dealing with the news. “And you haven’t told your mom yet?”

  “No, because she’s going to freak the hell out. She wanted to go after him when he left the reception, but me and Uncle Charlie told her he’d be okay. It’s not something we’d want to wake her over.” He pauses to let out a deep breath. “He called ten minutes ago, said they threw him in the drunk tank. Someone needs to go down there and pick him up.”

  “Your mom should be the one to do it. If you want me to call her—”

  “I was thinking maybe you could go get him.”

  I grunt with a humorless laugh. “I’m the last person he’s going to want to see.”

  “Just hear me out. He was really upset…I’ve never heard him that bad off—told me his life is a fucking mess. He said he isn’t fitting in at school and he’s flunking two of his classes. If Mom goes to get him, she’ll be really pissed when she finds out what’s going on and he’ll completely shut down. He needs someone levelheaded to tel
l him what he’s going through isn’t the end of the world. It’d be the perfect chance for the two of you to have it out without Mom being around. I’ll come along and play referee if you want.”

  Although he’s right—it would be a great opportunity to connect with Allen—I hesitate to do anything behind Katie’s back. I sure as hell don’t need any reasons for her to hate me. She’s going to be mad enough when she hears I’m planning to stay out here in hopes that she’ll change her mind about coming to Cali.

  “Think about it, man. My mom has it in her head that she can’t be with you because Allen can’t handle it. If you can bond with him, make him understand that you only want to make our mom happy, she won’t have a reason to break things off with you.”

  I shake my head, chuckling. “Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate your enthusiasm and everything, but doesn’t it weird you out that I’m not that much older than you? Why’re you so accepting of me and your mom being together?”

  “Because I can tell that you make her happy. She’s stubborn as hell and has this ridiculous complex thing—thinks she was a shitty mom because our dad wanted nothing to do with us, but that couldn’t be any further from the truth. Until Allen graduated, she didn’t have a life. She didn’t date, and I only remember her going out a few times with our friends’ moms because they basically bullied her into taking a night off. Most of her life has been about her taking care of us, and Charlie, and our grandma. She has to stop putting others ahead of herself. She deserves something good for herself. If you love her, please don’t give up because of what she said tonight. I’m guessing she loves you too, but she’s probably scared to death to put herself out there in a real relationship after what she went through with my dad.”

  “She’s lucky to have you, Connor. You’re a real stand-up guy.”

  “Just don’t ever expect me to call you ‘dad,’ fucker.”

  With a chuckle, I make plans to meet him down at the station before throwing on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Can’t say I’m looking forward to the conversation that’s ahead, but maybe Connor’s right. Maybe it’ll get me one step closer to winning Katie back.